What Am I?!


Lately I’ve been stuck in a rut; a profoundly deep rut brimming with murky muddy waters with my thoughts and words surfacing only for a quick peek such as timid tadpoles and then swiftly escaping my grasp. Dang it. Almost had that one. Don’t misconstrue it, I’ve had plenty to write about everyday there’s little moments of enlightenment sent by the Father but stringing them all together to share..well..that’s another song.

I’ve got an itch to attempt to compile Scriptures and commentaries, taking from various trusted commentators and producing a handbook for the Christian mother/wife. The kind of book where you can look in the Table of Contents find your trial of the moment and simply trace your fingers to the page number and with a lick and a flick of your finger along with a few pages arrive at where your soul can be revived and your spirit encouraged. A book of equally convicting and comforting truths during the hard times. No its not an original idea, I’m sure it’s been done before since there’s nothing new under the sun, but it would be different because..well..I’m different.

I’m NOT the Christian, wife, mother, or woman often seen on social media and the blogosphere.

I’m sorta in between the two popular personality types.

The first type, we’ll call her Pretty Christian, I’m not busting your chops if you fall in this category by no means, I envy you. Truly I do. I envy how your cup of joy runneth over, everything is “God bless you, Have a blessed day, and Praise God.” , how you can calmly kneel down and speak softly to your toddler as they are about to lose their crap and restrain the tantrum that almost ensued without losing your crap {seriously how do you do it? I’m a yeller and I hate it.}, All of your pictures are captured perfectly with the perfect lighting and your perfect hair with your seemingly perfect life and of course they are captioned perfectly with an enlightening message sparking a fire in me to reorganize my house and fill the cupboards with gluten free all organic foods. You make me want to get my life together.

Type two we’ll call her Extreme, this is the woman who, if you were to tally her articles, complains more about her husband and/or children more often than praising them or deeming them as blessings. She’s completely complacent in her shortcomings {if she admits she even has any} excusing any ill words or actions because she’s tired due to the burden of being a wife/mother. She plans on rewarding herself with a shopping trip to target or alcoholic beverage for not doing something completely irrational. You make me feel like I DO have my life together.

I’m stuck in the middle. I’m a Medial Momma. I feed my kids processed foods but its because time got away from me. My husband is the light of my life, my confidant, my teammate, but sometimes I do want to turn off the light, be quiet, and go solo. My hair is wild but it is clean. I very rarely wear makeup but I keep my eyebrows shaped. I don’t live in yoga pants because I actually enjoy “dressing up” daily. I read my Bible pretty much everyday and while I give all glory to God, I also question Him and what His Will is and I share my spiritual valleys to help others who might be trudging through it as well, because I feel like no one else does. I’m not photogenic. I don’t cuss, {except when one slips out when I stub my toe or burn my thumb getting a casserole dish out of the oven.} I abstain from alcohol {Be Humble}. I love my children dearly but will tell them quickly to get on somewhere.{I. Am. A. Tease.} I also allow my children to run around in just their skivvies and 9/10 my son is completely nakey nakey. I encourage them to play outside and in the mud and fuss when they leave muddy footprints on my floors but I secretly cherish each moment I clean them up wondering if this will be the last time I clean them up because time seems to be passing So. Dang. Fast.

*Sigh. I’m just me…hoping that my words resonate with a fellow Medial Momma.

2 thoughts on “What Am I?!

  1. Keep writing, even it it feel disjointed or unclear. Keep writing for those of us that are also stuck in the middle of worlds, just trying to do our best. Your words impact those around you more than you will ever know.


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