I heard you scoff and it made me smile..

If you’re maneuvering through the battlefields of parenting and marriage then you know how important and anticipated a date night is. How a refreshing deep breath of adult conversation revitalizes a worn out momma heart, and while I always eagerly await such a night solo with the hubs, a double date night with a couple who just gets you, who has the same aspirations for their family as yours, who delights in the same delectable eats, but most importantly; knows when to call it a night. {because honestly we gotta get rested up for the next day’s battle with the babies.} is equally eagerly awaited!

We started the night off right with Hibachi and Sushi, letting the husbands get acquainted while us wives chattered about everything from babies to boudoir photos, dropping in on the guys conversations whenever we felt it necessary. After filling our bellies in an attempt to create an emergency caloric reservoir in case we failed horribly at the Breakout Games resulting in never escaping and sending out morse code S.O.S messages, we loaded up in one vehicle and proceeded to a gas station where while filling up we learned more about each other through random and sometimes odd questions {what’s a weird smell you like?}. We arrived at Breakout Games and well you can guess how it went since you’re not tediously working through a morse code blog post.

After breaking out with only 8 minutes to spare everyone’s nerves were shot and at 8 p.m. there’s only one thing that can calm your nerves..SWEETS! We called off our search when we fixed our eyes on that great big cookie in the sky..er..storefront. The husbands so gentlemanly opened our doors {backdoors have child lock because littles cannot be trusted} to let us gracefully exit the truck and Mallory and I skipped happily across the parking lot while the boys shuffled up the rear. I stopped before entering and popped off a joke and Mallory and I entered with Jacob and Donald close behind.

You were sitting to the left at a red circle table, you and I assume your mom-friend along with your daughters. You looked to be in your mid to late 40s, ya’ll are attractive ladies, every hair in place and your daughters are trendy teens, dressed as the models in the nearby store’s catalogs. Ya’ll were finishing up your desserts and I concede that our giddy ambience upon entering the store turned your sweets sour and you let out a loud scoff. Perhaps you made the assumption that we were younger than we are and for fear of possible unruly disruptions you let out that scoff, whatever the reason, let me tell you why I looked you in your eyes and smiled.

I smile because combined we have 6 children, and we actually get to eat our sweets ALONE. We don’t have to share ANY. OF. IT.

I smile because instead of wearing leggings laced with dog slobber and little’s fingerprints, oversized sweatshirts splattered with spit up and snot with our hair up in a messy bun, we are wearing actual clothes..that fit our bodies..{which we learned are not box-shaped} and our hair and makeup done by a professional because of the photo shoot we had earlier that day. {Needless to say we were feeling ourselves and our husbands were equally smitten with their Cinderellas}

I smile because if you’re scoffing you have only confirmed what I suspected, therefore we look goooooood.

I look you in the eyes and smile because I want you to see yourself 10+ years ago in my weary puffy bag ridden eyes.

Do you remember?

Do you remember the late night calls for momma that left you stumbling down a dark hallway, navigating through legos and loud, light up toys just so you could rub your daughters back until she drifted back to sleep? Do you remember the laundry and dishes that were seemingly set on “never-ending cycle”? Do you remember the substantial weight of balancing love, work, house, and littles? Do you remember the overwhelming feeling of insecurity when you accidentally caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror while struggling to carry that weight? Do you remember yearning for adult interactions?Do you remember other women who scoffed at you and how it felt?

How are we to break the ties that bind our youth and bullying to one another if we are the very ones tightening the knots before their eyes?

Try complimenting before you criticize.